Every family with a Small will probably have a collection of xylophones, drums, castanets, cymbals, trumpets, whistles and other ‘musical’ instruments.  All unsuspecting, the parents will have bought one of these items and then been driven close to insanity within a minute.  The rest will be presents from well-meaning or vindictive friends and relatives.

Small was once given a very loud toy electric guitar on a visit to relatives.  It was handed over just before we all crammed into the car for the drive home.  The relatives waved cheerily as we set off for a four hour journey from hell.  We had the unenviable choice between loud, crashing, discordant guitar noises or loud, crashing, distraught Small noises filling the tiny, inescapable space we were hurtling down the road far too fast in, trying to make the experience as short as possible.

The thing was, Small and xylophones (or cacophonic noise making equivalents) were extremely compatible.  Small loved his noise makers and wanted to demonstrate his skills at every moment.  Sadly, Small and xylophones AND his parents were completely incompatible.  There is a box in the loft, well buried in case of Small incursion, containing all of the loving gifts we ever received.

Not so much a parenting guide full of advice, more the reality of parenting kids and being a house husband and father, written by a stay at home dad to three children.

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